Nancy Ann Mendiburu
October 12, 1945-June 19, 2000
OBITUARY AS PUBLISHED IN THE BAKERSFIELD CALIFORNIAN NEWSPAPER JUNE 21, 2000
Visitation will be from 12:00-5:30pm at Hopson-Anspach Mortuary on Wednesday, June 21st. Services will be held with a Rosary which will be said at St. Phillips the Apostle Catholic Church, 7100 Stockdale Highway, on Wednesday, June 21st at 7:00pm and the funeral Mass at St. Phillips on Thursday, June 22nd at 10:00am, followed by the internment at Hillcrest Memorial Park. In lieu of flowers, please make donations to the American Cancer Society. Pallbearers will be Tom DaSilva, Jim DaSilva, John DaSilva, Mason McTeer, Nathan Brusa, and Pete Mendiburu.
A system of a down. A negative remark. A pathetic threat, still you were positive. God was wide awake when creating you. An empathetic friend recently asked our family if we were glad that it is all over?
Absolutely not! Our foundation has crumbled. Our moral compass has dissolved. The ideal of selfishness would assume that your loving sons were deprived of their universe at such a young age. Your visible suffering towards the end leaves an ache that does not go away within our stomach and chests with any sort of food, sleep, or consultation. We have learned all direction from your poise, interpretation and loving manner. John and Brian can only strive to make you proud of your product from this point on. We are so proud and honored to have you as our Ama. Our lives will never be the same. So long as Nancy was breathing, she was smiling and providing her usual golden touch to all those whom she loved and sincerely loved her, everyday. Your love is molded so easily. We cannot understand, though we may not suppose to be able to.
Nancy was born to John and Mary Jane Uhalde in 1945 in Reno, Nevada. She is survived by her husband of thirty years, Juanito Mendiburu of Bakersfield; son, John Gary Mendiburu of Bakersfield; son, Brian Mendiburu of Bakersfield; brother, John Uhalde of Madera; sisters, Louise DaSilva of Madera, Elizabeth McTeer of Madera, Joanne Deaver of Fresno, Irene Brusa of Santa Rosa, and eleven wonderful nieces and nephews. Her immediate family will always strive to make all of her sisters and brother understand just how much she thought of them all. Your well being was on her mind twenty four hours a day.
Our mother, wife, and sister exemplified the notion of “good.” Obviously we are biased to some extent, but feel so passionate about this human being. The tears are flowing. The frowns expected. The restlessness normal. The loss so painful. We have never experienced this much “hurt” without your caring words of advice and shoulder to cry on. Our perseverance will only be enhanced by the expected meeting in heaven. As our routine drives become overwhelmed with anxiety and showers become longer, our faith in God must be strengthened by this process. We all realize certain things now and would be heartbroken if we had not had the chance to have you as a mother, wife, sister, and friend.
Your daily ambition was satisfied by seeing the comfort of other people. Friends, family, neighbors, or strangers…it didn’t matter. Neither of us will ever be accused of being so very compassionate, empathetic, caring and thoughtful. Truly the sweetest woman we have known, seen, met, or even dreamed of.
Nancy is the type of person that so many try to achieve everyday of their lives. Each tangible breath of anxiety towards the end of her lengthy battle with cancer holds a special place in our hearts as engraved memories of her body and soul. Her tedious fight was representative of her character. Mom’s true happiness came daily with anticipation of her husband’s company. The sort of love shared between Juanito and Nancy is a state of achievement that couples can only aspire to attain. Nancy loved her husband more than herself, and immediate and extended family were always considered priority. On October 10, 2000, she would have been thirty years married to the one person that she fought so hard to stay alive for. She told John and Brian the strength of her love for Aita every chance that she had.
Our pain and sorrow will be permanent. The doctrine of: “Time heals” is a myth. Our loss cannot be erased with time. Nobody who knew you should expect that. Our newly formed expectation will be to be reunited with you. Your “boys” will cry everyday. You have taught us how to care. You taught us how to love. You have taught us how to share. You have taught us how to acknowledge. Hopefully you have taught us how to embody your image and character and carry on your persona. Your family and “boys” will cry. We will definitely mourn. We will console each other. We all realize that these tears of sorrow will not bring you back. We can only aspire to be half the person that you are, in order to assure reunification later. Your “boys” all look forward to this with great anticipation. It is literally impossible to justly culminate your life in a single column. Your Aita, John, and Brian can only work that much harder on this planet in order to hug and kiss you in awhile. We all hope that we made you as comfortable as possible and hope that you realize your incredible impact on our lives will only be measured by the outcome.
As you are buried with your rubber band and “Brian” necklace your ongoing optimism will probably say that your sickness and passing had purpose and meaning. As usual, you are probably right, but right now it hurts so much, that our perception is blurred. Please know that you are “our” everything and we need to know that you will watch over us tomorrow. Aita loves you. John and Brian love you, and John is so much like you and will always shine in your honor. Your brother and sisters love you. All that you knew loved you. The love is so real and meaningful so long as we think of your genuine “goodness.”
Nancy, you are one of a kind that people only “hear” about. We are afraid that you may have been the only one. That is not good news; as your sons try to find that “right” lady to share the rest of their lives with. Our Aita was spoiled. Damn, he knows he had it good. We will love you endlessly for all of eternity.
Aita, John Gary, and Brian